fOuR | aCtIoN

[miraculls]

[Action; inside 1338 Benny]

[Some people deal with teenage drama and fights with their best friends by drowning their sorrows in ice cream and shitty movies. Gamzee, on the other hand, drowns his sorrows in pies. Unfortunately, the human pies don't work half as well as his sopor ones do when it comes to making him feel better, plus his stomach starts hurting after he downs a whole tin for some reason. This hasn't stopped him from baking dozens and dozens of them, though.

Anyone who comes into the kitchen of 1338 Benny will find Gamzee covered head to toe in flour, as well as what looks to be a minor explosion of various ingredients all over the countertops, including several that have no business being anywhere near a pie. The table, meanwhile, is stacked with piping hot pies. If this were one of Karkat's paleromcoms, this would be the incredibly pathetic scene where Gamzee starts wailing the lyrics to "All By Myself (Don't Wanna Be Culled Anymore)" at the top of his lungs.]

[Action; outside 1338 Benny]

[Having been scolded by both drone parents because 'boys shouldn't be doing girly activities like baking', Gamzee has relocated his table of pies outdoors and is currently munching on a slice. Taped across the table is a large sign that reads:



Gamzee looks kind of lonely, come share a slice with him? There's three different types of pies to choose from:

1) Regular pies: through the power of miracles, Gamzee has actually managed to bake pies that most people would be familiar with, like apple and banana cream and cherry.

2) Stoner pies: the ingredients in these are kind of weird! You might get a strange but nonetheless delicious one, like peanut butter chocolate potato chips pie, or a pie filled with ice cream and soda. On the other hand, you might also get one with hamburger meat and strawberry syrup.

3) Pot pies: they look like normal pies, but Gamzee's added a special ingredient that the greasers at the high school said would make miracles happen. He's not sure how a bag full of what looks like grass is supposed to accomplish this, but humans can be pretty weird sometimes! Don't worry, there isn't enough pot in these pies to get anyone sick, just high.]

Comments

[buildstherobots.livejournal.com]

[You know what? Dist could use some pie right about now. He hasn't been able to lift out of his depressed funk for weeks, so he can't help but stop and raise an eyebrow at the table.]

What's this, now?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[languidly waves]

Heeeeey, brother! You interested in kicking back a slice or two? Ain't charging no starmonkey boondollars for this, haha.

Action

[misterwwizard.livejournal.com]

[Oh man, was Eridan Starving. He hadn't had a decent bite to eat all day...and while his common sense tells him to avoid anything that Gamzee would bake ever...

He's really hungry. And it's free.

But there's that nagging voice. It's food. Baked by Gamzee. There is no part of this that sounds like a good idea to Eridan.

though if it was Faygo pie, that wouldn't be too bad he supposes.

He gives in.]

Free pies, eh? Gamz you always know how to be winnin' me over cause I'm fuckin' starvin' right now. I'll take a pie.

[Eridan, you don't HAVE better judgement.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Haha, sure thing, fishbro! Which of my fine motherfuckin' wares you wanna be trying today?

[foretastes.livejournal.com]

[sneaking by with a hood over her head--



oh gog that smells delicious]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[wow what a cunning disguise

who could ever see through that Gamzee sure can't]

You look like you're interested in slamming a motherfuckin' slice, brosis.

inside

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[So Karkat can't find The Notebook anywhere, and obviously he needs it. He doesn't feel like watching it or anything, but still. Just in case, he needs to stop back by the house. It's probably there. After all, he checked everywhere for it except in the case.

He really doesn't care how Jade and Gamzee are getting along without him at all.

So he's sneaking in through the kitchen to go look for the Notebook.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[Gamzee's in the middle of taking a pie out of the oven when he happens to glance up and notice Karkat sneaking past. He jerks up, then yelps as he burns his hand against the oven and drops the pie on the floor. Never mind that though oh gosh Karkat]

Best friend! You're back!

[looking pathetically hopeful and excited here....]

( action. )

[tranches.livejournal.com]

[ Did someone say pies? While trying to escape the hell hole Stocking was stuck in she happened to come across the sign. She simply adored sweet things especially pies!

Don't mind her standing in front of you with a big smile. ]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[oh gosh Gamzee is always happy to meet someone who can appreciate the miracle that is pie]

Shit, help yourself, chica! These motherfuckin' pies ain't gonna be eating themselves, haha.

OUTSIDE

[stealsluck.livejournal.com]

Finally found a hobby outside of your shitty rhymes?

Damn, I'm nearly proud.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[o-oh, hi Vriska...]

Aww, I still got plenty of time for any motherfucker who wants to be laying down some sick motherfuckin' beats with me. You interested?

[wingsaflutter.livejournal.com]

[Have a hesitant pony, although she's looking at the pies rather longingly. They smell good, okay.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[yay more ponies ;u; Gamzee thinks you are all miracles okay]

Hey, hoofsister. Up for slamming back a few motherfuckin' slices all what into your protein chute?

[battymadam.livejournal.com]

Free pies?! Oh, goodie! I sure love gettin' free stuff!

[stands on her toes and tries to reach a pie. Gamzee, the pie she gets may be in your hands...]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[oh, well, if that's the one she wants, he can't keep it to himself

hands the pie to her ;u;]

Yeah, ain't no point in charging when it don't look like any of you starmonkeys carry my special stardust. Besides, I can't be asking people to pay for miracles, that just ain't cool.

[midnight-chorus.livejournal.com]

-Mystia may be dumb. Okay, she can be VERY dumb. But she knows business. And she's giving Gamzee a very suspicious look.-

Okay. What's the catch?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[looks around confusedly]

Uhhh...what am I all supposed to be motherfuckin' catching?

[it's okay, Gamzee can be very dumb too....]

[appleknighted.livejournal.com]

[Free food radar, pinged. Suddenly Sora is here... well, more like... here on her way home from school, but still.]

Pie! You're really giving away pie?!

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sis! You want any? They're fresh and real motherfuckin' good.

[encored]

[wow this sign is suspicious and the lonely clown eating it is suspicious but hey, free pie! what could possibly go wrong.]

You ought to take a job at the bakery if you can manage to make such a large quantity within a day. [no don't listen to him......]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[trust the clown]

Whooooa, you think they'd up and let me work there? I dunno if I've got the time, what with having to be schoolfed and all...

[beermark.livejournal.com]

( as he's walking by, he kind of veers and stops in front of the pie stand with an important observation: ) Ya look weird.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[he actually hasn't regained his troll body yet, so he's still a normal thirteen year old human!

...albeit one wearing clown make-up so uh yeah still pretty weird]

Really? How so, brother?

[spiraldoll.livejournal.com]

[[she decided to take a walk after school, but pies certainly weren't in her plans of that. how pleasant! she stops at the table, giving the boy a wide smile.]]

These are free? I may have one?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, go ahead and take as many as you motherfuckin' want! Ain't no point to be keeping all these miracles to myself.

[echidna]

[ Jade is also in the kitchen, and likely also covered in flour at this point.

Bake away the pain! ]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[HE WILL BAKE UNTIL THE PIES NO LONGER TASTE LIKE TEARS...

also okay so this explains why his pies have been coming out suspiciously normal]

You got any suggestions for what to be making next, hivesis?

[made-this-town.livejournal.com]

What the actual fuck am I looking at.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[glances down at the pies

glances up at Slick

Slick, you are now getting the 'are you an idiot' look

from Gamzee.

look at your life. look at your choices.]

Uhhh...it's pie, bro.

[foalingaround.livejournal.com]

[Free pies? Rainbow Dash approves!]

Whoa, those look pretty good!

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[YES MORE MIRACLE PONIES come to him ;u;]

Shit, my rainbow hoofsis, they're the finest motherfuckin' pies you'll ever done slam into your gullet. Go ahead and try some!

[flameyedhunter.livejournal.com]

Let's have one of these pies then!

[ Free food has attracted Shana. This will go poorly for you. ]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Sure thing, sister! Go ahead and pick whatever one you think be best for your mastication muscle.

[notsaul.livejournal.com]

[oh my god there are pies with meat in them WHY HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD HER THIS] You are the most productive stoner I've ever met, dude.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sis! I ain't made out of stone though, just pink starmonkey skin and hemo and shit.

action

[partysense.livejournal.com]

[trotting up with a big purple teddy bear on her back. she looks pretty cheerful, about to launch into a greeting, and then she sees how sad Gamzee looks. she sets the teddy bear down and sits next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[o-ohhhh ;u; he puts a hand on her head and cuddles her closer. come here, Pinkie Pie, you are his new best friend now, he doesn't need that stupid old Karkat!!]

Heeeeeeey, my pink pastry sis. Hope you've been having a better perigree than I have.

Outside

[solarhussyalert.livejournal.com]

[Lym, not knowing any better will stop and bow to the fellow with the pies and peer over them]

Are you a chef?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[blinks at her bowing and peers at the ground] Whoops, you lose something?

Haha, I guess you could be saying I'm a chef of miracles, honk! I ain't that good at making anything but pies, though.

Action

[wolf-faerie.livejournal.com]

[Aisling approves of free food.]

I've never had pies before...

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Whoa, seriously? [HOW CAN THIS TRAVESTY BE POSSIBLE] Shit, sister, you need to be getting your motherfuckin' try on all over these motherfuckin' pies!

Action

[thug-disease.livejournal.com]

[Have a little 12 year old blonde girl literally running up to that table when she catches a whiff of food.]

They're for free?? Wh-what are they?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I ain't gonna charge for miracles. And uhh...they're pies. [why do people keep asking him this isn't it obvious what they are he made a sign and everything!]

[brbfood.livejournal.com]

*Don't mind 9982 she's just gonna slide in here and take a piece of pie. She's not even questioning it, free food can never be a bad thing.*

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[beams at her] If you like it, go ahead and take more.

[photonicfighter]

[There were an awful lot of pie-sated people ambling around, when Dakki took her daily walk. Tracing their path backwards has brought her here, and it doesn't disappoint.

It does astonish and confuse, though.]

...this is a lot of pie. [blink] And you're really giving it away?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Ain't no such thing as too much pie, sis. And yeah, can't eat it all myself. I tried, but this motherfuckin' starmonkey digestive sac just don't got the room for it.

late to the party!!

[naicha]

<sub>[ aww yeeeee

Taiwan loves free food, who doesn't? She eyes one of the normal apple pies. ]</sub>

"Free pies... honk." _{[ turns her attention to Gamzee ]} They are? Really!?

never too late ;u;

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Honk! Yeah, chica, I wouldn't up and lie to a motherfucker. Says right there it's free, so it's motherfuckin' free!