fOuR | aCtIoN

[miraculls]

[Action; inside 1338 Benny]

[Some people deal with teenage drama and fights with their best friends by drowning their sorrows in ice cream and shitty movies. Gamzee, on the other hand, drowns his sorrows in pies. Unfortunately, the human pies don't work half as well as his sopor ones do when it comes to making him feel better, plus his stomach starts hurting after he downs a whole tin for some reason. This hasn't stopped him from baking dozens and dozens of them, though.

Anyone who comes into the kitchen of 1338 Benny will find Gamzee covered head to toe in flour, as well as what looks to be a minor explosion of various ingredients all over the countertops, including several that have no business being anywhere near a pie. The table, meanwhile, is stacked with piping hot pies. If this were one of Karkat's paleromcoms, this would be the incredibly pathetic scene where Gamzee starts wailing the lyrics to "All By Myself (Don't Wanna Be Culled Anymore)" at the top of his lungs.]

[Action; outside 1338 Benny]

[Having been scolded by both drone parents because 'boys shouldn't be doing girly activities like baking', Gamzee has relocated his table of pies outdoors and is currently munching on a slice. Taped across the table is a large sign that reads:



Gamzee looks kind of lonely, come share a slice with him? There's three different types of pies to choose from:

1) Regular pies: through the power of miracles, Gamzee has actually managed to bake pies that most people would be familiar with, like apple and banana cream and cherry.

2) Stoner pies: the ingredients in these are kind of weird! You might get a strange but nonetheless delicious one, like peanut butter chocolate potato chips pie, or a pie filled with ice cream and soda. On the other hand, you might also get one with hamburger meat and strawberry syrup.

3) Pot pies: they look like normal pies, but Gamzee's added a special ingredient that the greasers at the high school said would make miracles happen. He's not sure how a bag full of what looks like grass is supposed to accomplish this, but humans can be pretty weird sometimes! Don't worry, there isn't enough pot in these pies to get anyone sick, just high.]

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[A little tense about that, and shifting so his weight is more against the couch than Gamzee, but otherwise letting him.

He feels a little upset because he hadn't been thinking about the catastrophic implosion of his love life and now he is, but he just sighs.]

I don't know. It's hard to quantify what's a bigger fuck up for you than usual.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[good enough

and shit whoops he did not mean to do that...]

Guess so. Lucky I got real good motherfuckin' friends to be what all looking out for me when I fuck up, haha.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Hn.

What are you and Harley up to besides making suspicious pies?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Not much, bro. I haven't really been doing anything other than make pies all day. [shut up this isn't pathetic at all...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

That sounds pathetic. Develop a fucking hobby beyond clowns and pie.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

...you think I should invite her to lay down some strict motherfuckin' beats with me and Tavbro?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

No. That's a terrible idea, don't do that.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

What do you think we should do, then? I don't really know what pink starmonkeys like....

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't care.

See, this is your problem. Sometimes you have to fucking stop and think before you decide to just do whatever the fuck you feel like doing. And you know, if the stupid shit you do without running it past your pan is just eating garbage you find on the floor, that's between you and the contents of your digestive sac and the person who'll be cleaning up that mess, so, again, you. But if you're going to be in the company of other sentient organisms, or at least ones more intelligent than you such as fungii and the like, your spur of the moment decisions have actual consequences for them, too. Tavros is flushed for her and it isn't reciprocated, so anyone with two sponge nodes to rub together would be able to consider that asking them both to a strict beat douche off is a terrible idea. But of course you don't bother to think about that.

[Yeah, he is absolutely defending Tavros right now and not talking about anything else. What a good friend to Tavros.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Naaaaw, it's a great motherfuckin' idea. See, then Tavbro and hivesis could all up and kick their wicked motherfuckin' friendship down the stairs, get to know each other real well, and maybe hivesis could what all go flushed for him too. Anyway, it'd be awful sad if they couldn't chill anymore because of that kind of shit. [Gamzee is a great friend to Tavros and Jade too...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You're a fucking idiot.

He feels shitty and rejected because she doesn't feel the same way about him, of course he doesn't want to spend time with her. Things would just be awkward and he needs to keep his distance until it's hurting less.

You can't push this. It's not fair to Jade to have to keep telling him no, and it's not fair to him to get his hopes up. It's awful to be hung up on someone who doesn't feel the same way and he needs to try and get over that, not have it encouraged by someone too stupid to understand.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

You think so? Aww, I like them both, I don't want either to be hurting none. You don't think there's a chance of hivesis returning his feelings, then?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't know. But you should stay out of it because you're terrible at this.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Haha, I guess if you're all saying so, I won't. I don't really get any of this quadrant shit anyway, it's all what real confusing.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I noticed.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Soooooooorry. Maybe I'll up and understand it better if I ever get around to filling mine.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...

Maybe. Or maybe you'll just fail at that, too. Why, is there anyone you feel that way about?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[kind of, but he's too stupid to tell] Naaaaaaw, bro. Love's a motherfuckin' miracle, you know? Can't ask a brother to be restricting it to only a few motherfuckers.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You would think something completely stupid like that! You ignorant douche, that can't even be considered fucking love if it's just how you feel about everyone and there's no basis to it whatsoever!

The reason rom has any value is because it's not possible to feel the same way about just fucking anyone! But if it doesn't matter to you at all then fine, I'll just pick the next person I see walk past our lawnring and you two can go be matesprits, how about that?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

But...I do like every motherfucker here a whole lot. If that ain't love, what's it supposed to be then?

Sure thing, if that's what you're thinking is best. Friends are supposed to be knowing what's good for each other, I can't be matesprits with someone my best motherfuckin' friend doesn't approve of.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[FACEPALM X 2 COMBO]

That's liking people a whole lot in a way that doesn't mean anything to anyone, because you would feel the same way no matter who they were or wait they did, so it's pointless. It's like if I said my favorite movie is every movie. Then I don't have a favorite fucking movie, do I?

And no, no one has to approve of anything. It doesn't work like that!

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Naaaw, then it just means your favorite movie's all of them because you can't be picking which one you like most, that ain't fair to the rest.

Awwwawwagh, I don't get it...all this complicated shit is making my thinkpan hurt.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, which movie in that scenario is my least favorite movie? I'll give you the answer, it's all of them.

Ugh, none of this even matters, it's just frustrating that you can possibly have such a warped view of how rom should work. The point is that if literally anyone will do, then it's not special. No one deserves to have to be with someone who sees them as completely interchangeable with whatever asshole comes along next.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Everyone's special to me, best friend. You and hivesis and Tavbro and blindtits and all the other motherfuckers I've been meeting on this miracle planet, ain't a single one of you who can be replaced. Just because I like you all in different ways don't mean I like any of you less.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

But you don't care who winds up in your quadrants at all, and that's just fucking insane. You actually agreed to let me pick for you. Okay, you can now be moirails with Vriska, and I hope you two are very happy together.