fOuR | aCtIoN

[miraculls]

[Action; inside 1338 Benny]

[Some people deal with teenage drama and fights with their best friends by drowning their sorrows in ice cream and shitty movies. Gamzee, on the other hand, drowns his sorrows in pies. Unfortunately, the human pies don't work half as well as his sopor ones do when it comes to making him feel better, plus his stomach starts hurting after he downs a whole tin for some reason. This hasn't stopped him from baking dozens and dozens of them, though.

Anyone who comes into the kitchen of 1338 Benny will find Gamzee covered head to toe in flour, as well as what looks to be a minor explosion of various ingredients all over the countertops, including several that have no business being anywhere near a pie. The table, meanwhile, is stacked with piping hot pies. If this were one of Karkat's paleromcoms, this would be the incredibly pathetic scene where Gamzee starts wailing the lyrics to "All By Myself (Don't Wanna Be Culled Anymore)" at the top of his lungs.]

[Action; outside 1338 Benny]

[Having been scolded by both drone parents because 'boys shouldn't be doing girly activities like baking', Gamzee has relocated his table of pies outdoors and is currently munching on a slice. Taped across the table is a large sign that reads:



Gamzee looks kind of lonely, come share a slice with him? There's three different types of pies to choose from:

1) Regular pies: through the power of miracles, Gamzee has actually managed to bake pies that most people would be familiar with, like apple and banana cream and cherry.

2) Stoner pies: the ingredients in these are kind of weird! You might get a strange but nonetheless delicious one, like peanut butter chocolate potato chips pie, or a pie filled with ice cream and soda. On the other hand, you might also get one with hamburger meat and strawberry syrup.

3) Pot pies: they look like normal pies, but Gamzee's added a special ingredient that the greasers at the high school said would make miracles happen. He's not sure how a bag full of what looks like grass is supposed to accomplish this, but humans can be pretty weird sometimes! Don't worry, there isn't enough pot in these pies to get anyone sick, just high.]

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I noticed.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Soooooooorry. Maybe I'll up and understand it better if I ever get around to filling mine.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...

Maybe. Or maybe you'll just fail at that, too. Why, is there anyone you feel that way about?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[kind of, but he's too stupid to tell] Naaaaaaw, bro. Love's a motherfuckin' miracle, you know? Can't ask a brother to be restricting it to only a few motherfuckers.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You would think something completely stupid like that! You ignorant douche, that can't even be considered fucking love if it's just how you feel about everyone and there's no basis to it whatsoever!

The reason rom has any value is because it's not possible to feel the same way about just fucking anyone! But if it doesn't matter to you at all then fine, I'll just pick the next person I see walk past our lawnring and you two can go be matesprits, how about that?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

But...I do like every motherfucker here a whole lot. If that ain't love, what's it supposed to be then?

Sure thing, if that's what you're thinking is best. Friends are supposed to be knowing what's good for each other, I can't be matesprits with someone my best motherfuckin' friend doesn't approve of.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[FACEPALM X 2 COMBO]

That's liking people a whole lot in a way that doesn't mean anything to anyone, because you would feel the same way no matter who they were or wait they did, so it's pointless. It's like if I said my favorite movie is every movie. Then I don't have a favorite fucking movie, do I?

And no, no one has to approve of anything. It doesn't work like that!

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Naaaw, then it just means your favorite movie's all of them because you can't be picking which one you like most, that ain't fair to the rest.

Awwwawwagh, I don't get it...all this complicated shit is making my thinkpan hurt.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay, which movie in that scenario is my least favorite movie? I'll give you the answer, it's all of them.

Ugh, none of this even matters, it's just frustrating that you can possibly have such a warped view of how rom should work. The point is that if literally anyone will do, then it's not special. No one deserves to have to be with someone who sees them as completely interchangeable with whatever asshole comes along next.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Everyone's special to me, best friend. You and hivesis and Tavbro and blindtits and all the other motherfuckers I've been meeting on this miracle planet, ain't a single one of you who can be replaced. Just because I like you all in different ways don't mean I like any of you less.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

But you don't care who winds up in your quadrants at all, and that's just fucking insane. You actually agreed to let me pick for you. Okay, you can now be moirails with Vriska, and I hope you two are very happy together.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Awwwawaugh, you think she needs one? Spidertits all what kinda scares me a lot, I don't know if I'd be any good at papping her back into orbit. [naturally, Gamzee assumes that he's going to play the pacifying role in any moirallgiance, how could the opposite ever be true]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

She does need one, but I was being sarcastic. You would be fucking awful at that.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, probably. If she needs one though, some motherfucker's gotta be filling that quadrant soon. I like her a lot, but uhh...spidertits can get all what real motherfuckin' crazy sometimes.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Just hunching over a little, looking frustrated.]

No one would want to deal with her. I think some people just aren't meant to ever find anyone.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[o-ohh Karkat it's so cute how concerned you are over Vriska, have a cuddle]

Shit, that ain't true. Every motherfucker's got a special motherfucker out there waiting for them, the messiahs done made sure of that. They just gotta have some patience and faith. I bet there's someone in this town who'd make a real good palerom for Vriska.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[pushing him off grumpily]

First of all, I don't care about her. Second of all, fuck you. You don't know anything.

I used to think it worked like that, but there aren't even enough of us for it to be possible. Maybe, if we're really lucky, one of us will find someone they're actually happy with.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[looking a little confused here] Uhhh...but I thought we were just talking about her?

[blinks] I'm happy with you. [beat, and then he ruins it] And Equius's got Nepeta and Aradia, and Feferi's got Sollux, and Kanaya's got Vriska and you, and you and Terezi've got each other, and Tavbro's got me, and Eridan's got...uhhhhh...well, Feferi's real good motherfuckin' friends with him, so he's got that. See, we've all got people we're all what real happy with. Plus there's a bunch of motherfuckers on this miracle planet that everyone can be happy with too.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh god.

[Just head in his hands. Thanks, Gamzee, that list of people all of whom are dead or one of them is dead or crazy plus him and his ex, that is such a cheering thought.

Can you see how cheered up he looks right now?]

I was totally wrong. None of us are ever going to be happy.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[a-at least he's got Sollux?

and wow, Gamzee doesn't really know why he keeps saying the wrong things, they sound fine to him...]

Why do you think that? All the other trolls here seem to be pretty motherfuckin' happy to me. We were all getting along real well back in the Veil too, it was all what real touching to see. [yes Gamzee keep digging that hole deeper]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh, well, that sounds nice. A lot of us have died since then.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

...what?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Fuck.

I didn't mean to tell you that.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

...if this is some kinda joke, it ain't a funny one.

I mean, you don't gotta tell me if you think I shouldn't know, I trust you...but I don't know why you'd up and keep something that big from me. We're best friends, I'm supposed to be here for you.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[He's quiet for a long time, not sure what to say in response, but he paps him on the shoulder a little.]

You're right, I've been keeping some things to myself that are big things, and I don't have any intention of changing that, and you're right that you should trust me that you don't need to know.

For one thing, it's fucking awful to talk to some of us knowing exactly what's going to happen to them and that nothing anyone can say will prevent it, and there's no reason why anyone who isn't there by virtue of timeline needs to join those of us who are.

For another, it's not really relevant to the current situation because I have no intention of letting us leave and pick up where that timeline left off. Not that I can promise anything when it's so evidently beyond my control, but that is where we stand.