fOuR | aCtIoN

[miraculls]

[Action; inside 1338 Benny]

[Some people deal with teenage drama and fights with their best friends by drowning their sorrows in ice cream and shitty movies. Gamzee, on the other hand, drowns his sorrows in pies. Unfortunately, the human pies don't work half as well as his sopor ones do when it comes to making him feel better, plus his stomach starts hurting after he downs a whole tin for some reason. This hasn't stopped him from baking dozens and dozens of them, though.

Anyone who comes into the kitchen of 1338 Benny will find Gamzee covered head to toe in flour, as well as what looks to be a minor explosion of various ingredients all over the countertops, including several that have no business being anywhere near a pie. The table, meanwhile, is stacked with piping hot pies. If this were one of Karkat's paleromcoms, this would be the incredibly pathetic scene where Gamzee starts wailing the lyrics to "All By Myself (Don't Wanna Be Culled Anymore)" at the top of his lungs.]

[Action; outside 1338 Benny]

[Having been scolded by both drone parents because 'boys shouldn't be doing girly activities like baking', Gamzee has relocated his table of pies outdoors and is currently munching on a slice. Taped across the table is a large sign that reads:



Gamzee looks kind of lonely, come share a slice with him? There's three different types of pies to choose from:

1) Regular pies: through the power of miracles, Gamzee has actually managed to bake pies that most people would be familiar with, like apple and banana cream and cherry.

2) Stoner pies: the ingredients in these are kind of weird! You might get a strange but nonetheless delicious one, like peanut butter chocolate potato chips pie, or a pie filled with ice cream and soda. On the other hand, you might also get one with hamburger meat and strawberry syrup.

3) Pot pies: they look like normal pies, but Gamzee's added a special ingredient that the greasers at the high school said would make miracles happen. He's not sure how a bag full of what looks like grass is supposed to accomplish this, but humans can be pretty weird sometimes! Don't worry, there isn't enough pot in these pies to get anyone sick, just high.]

Comments

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's not the taste, it's that it's fucking poison or something.

Can you seriously just get a hold of yourself for one second and remember what is in here besides cherry so I know what the fuck is wrong with me?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Shit, you think so? I've had plenty and I'm fine, though....

Uhh...sweet crystals, cherries, grain powder, and some starmonkey spices and herbs.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

For a very limited definition of fine.

Where did you get all of that?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Ain't died yet, so it's gotta be good, yeah?

The grossers and some of the shit was just lying around in the thermal hull and storage nooks...oh, and some real nice motherfuckers down at the schoolhive done given me some too!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Can you please get it through your skull that human physiology is different than troll physiology and substances won't necessarily affect us the same way? You can't just stuff anything down your chute like you would at home. And don't accept shit people give you.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, it's real rude to be turning down gifts, though.

And it was just some greens, they ain't gonna be doing no harm. Sometimes you just gotta relax and let the miracles happen instead of always worrying about shit.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Being poisoned by disgusting human substances you ingest won't be a miracle.

I'm just fucking kicking myself for thinking it was at all an all right decision to try one of your disgusting pies. What the fuck was I even thinking, I should have seen this coming a mile away.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

I trust the starmonkeys here, they wouldn't be doing that to a brother.

[peers at Karkat a little confusedly] Uhh...don't taste that bad to me, bro, and you look fine.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes, they would. There are so many people here who will fucking kill you if they have the chance, I can't even believe you don't realize that.

[Rubbing his temple; he's having trouble focusing and he's feeling a little panicked, but he's otherwise fine and in possession of his faculties.]

Objectively I'm sure I'm fine, but I'm not happy about the fact that the normal human food I was assured was all the pie I ate contained is having effects beyond the scope of what was promised. I am not at all happy about that.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, I can't be kicking any wicked friendships up if I don't trust that the motherfucker won't be killing me, though. Everyone I've met's been real motherfuckin' chill anyway.

Shit, soooooorry. [n-noooo his plan backfired...] What kind of effects? I ain't feeling weird or nothing, and I've hit the pie too.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's either a different physiology thing or your pan is just already so addled that you can't tell.

I'm going to go sit down for a little while. It will probably wear off.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

You think starmonkey pies are all what poisonous for us trolls?

All right, if you think that's best. You really ain't acting any different, though.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't know.

[Grabbing a seat on the couch and leaning back on the cushion; his limbs are feeling a little heavy.]

My money is on you being too stupid to notice. It's just hard to say. And to answer your question I don't feel like I'm acting different, just that I feel kind of shitty.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[takes a seat next to him]

Fuck, how so? I didn't mean to what all make you sick or nothing, sooooorry.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's fine. Like I said, I should have known better than to eat any crap you gave me.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[scratches his head]

Aww, I listened to hivesis and tried to follow one of them starmonkey recipes even though it takes all the miracles out of baking, I don't know where I got it wrong....

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You being involved is the point where things went wrong.

[Leaning on him without really noticing he's doing it.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[o-ohhh miracles ;u; just going to push his luck here and try to drape an arm around Karkat's shoulders]

Haha yeah, I kinda been messing shit up a lot, huh? Soooooorry.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[A little tense about that, and shifting so his weight is more against the couch than Gamzee, but otherwise letting him.

He feels a little upset because he hadn't been thinking about the catastrophic implosion of his love life and now he is, but he just sighs.]

I don't know. It's hard to quantify what's a bigger fuck up for you than usual.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[good enough

and shit whoops he did not mean to do that...]

Guess so. Lucky I got real good motherfuckin' friends to be what all looking out for me when I fuck up, haha.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Hn.

What are you and Harley up to besides making suspicious pies?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Not much, bro. I haven't really been doing anything other than make pies all day. [shut up this isn't pathetic at all...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

That sounds pathetic. Develop a fucking hobby beyond clowns and pie.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

...you think I should invite her to lay down some strict motherfuckin' beats with me and Tavbro?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

No. That's a terrible idea, don't do that.