fOuR | aCtIoN

[miraculls]

[Action; inside 1338 Benny]

[Some people deal with teenage drama and fights with their best friends by drowning their sorrows in ice cream and shitty movies. Gamzee, on the other hand, drowns his sorrows in pies. Unfortunately, the human pies don't work half as well as his sopor ones do when it comes to making him feel better, plus his stomach starts hurting after he downs a whole tin for some reason. This hasn't stopped him from baking dozens and dozens of them, though.

Anyone who comes into the kitchen of 1338 Benny will find Gamzee covered head to toe in flour, as well as what looks to be a minor explosion of various ingredients all over the countertops, including several that have no business being anywhere near a pie. The table, meanwhile, is stacked with piping hot pies. If this were one of Karkat's paleromcoms, this would be the incredibly pathetic scene where Gamzee starts wailing the lyrics to "All By Myself (Don't Wanna Be Culled Anymore)" at the top of his lungs.]

[Action; outside 1338 Benny]

[Having been scolded by both drone parents because 'boys shouldn't be doing girly activities like baking', Gamzee has relocated his table of pies outdoors and is currently munching on a slice. Taped across the table is a large sign that reads:



Gamzee looks kind of lonely, come share a slice with him? There's three different types of pies to choose from:

1) Regular pies: through the power of miracles, Gamzee has actually managed to bake pies that most people would be familiar with, like apple and banana cream and cherry.

2) Stoner pies: the ingredients in these are kind of weird! You might get a strange but nonetheless delicious one, like peanut butter chocolate potato chips pie, or a pie filled with ice cream and soda. On the other hand, you might also get one with hamburger meat and strawberry syrup.

3) Pot pies: they look like normal pies, but Gamzee's added a special ingredient that the greasers at the high school said would make miracles happen. He's not sure how a bag full of what looks like grass is supposed to accomplish this, but humans can be pretty weird sometimes! Don't worry, there isn't enough pot in these pies to get anyone sick, just high.]

Comments

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[miracles

Gamzee just looks pathetically happy here, he's never managed to convince Karkat to try one of his pies before]

You like it?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure, fine.

Don't think it means I'll ever eat that shit you make with sopor slime.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

That's cool, the miraculous sneeze ain't for everyone anyway. I don't know if I'll ever be finding any of it around here though, but the starmonkey pies aren't bad.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

There is a way to get some, but you can't eat it if you're human. It won't affect you the same way and it will probably just kill you.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Whoooooa, how'd you up and know all that? They been hiding the sopor from me, bro?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

No, not exactly.

[siiiiign.]

Don't worry about it, it's not important right now. If you get your normal ugly body back, though, come find me right away.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Sure motherfuckin' thing, best friend. Haha, I don't mind if I'm all what a pink starmonkey forever though, I like these bodies.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[He's starting to feel aware of the fact that his thoughts are a little fuzzy and physically there's a really strange feeling; his body feels relaxed and almost as though it's not even his.

He hates it, and he's looking at the pie with some concern.]

What the fuck is in this? You said it was just edible things, Gamzee.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, bro, it's just cherry and other starmonkey grubchow. Hivesis helped me make it, so I know it's all real food. [he's forgotten which pies he's put the weed in, plus grass is also kind of a food too, right? like herbs and spices!]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

There's something else in here.

[Trying to poke through the main pie with a fork to see if there's anything suspicious.]

Oh god, you didn't put anything from under the sink in there, did you? I told you you can't fucking eat that shit.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Naaaw, the hair-cleaning slime and utensil washliquid tastes real motherfuckin' nasty even though they smell delicious, so I didn't put any in.

[takes a bite of the pie himself] Tastes fine to me, bro.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's not the taste, it's that it's fucking poison or something.

Can you seriously just get a hold of yourself for one second and remember what is in here besides cherry so I know what the fuck is wrong with me?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Shit, you think so? I've had plenty and I'm fine, though....

Uhh...sweet crystals, cherries, grain powder, and some starmonkey spices and herbs.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

For a very limited definition of fine.

Where did you get all of that?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Ain't died yet, so it's gotta be good, yeah?

The grossers and some of the shit was just lying around in the thermal hull and storage nooks...oh, and some real nice motherfuckers down at the schoolhive done given me some too!

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Can you please get it through your skull that human physiology is different than troll physiology and substances won't necessarily affect us the same way? You can't just stuff anything down your chute like you would at home. And don't accept shit people give you.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, it's real rude to be turning down gifts, though.

And it was just some greens, they ain't gonna be doing no harm. Sometimes you just gotta relax and let the miracles happen instead of always worrying about shit.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Being poisoned by disgusting human substances you ingest won't be a miracle.

I'm just fucking kicking myself for thinking it was at all an all right decision to try one of your disgusting pies. What the fuck was I even thinking, I should have seen this coming a mile away.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

I trust the starmonkeys here, they wouldn't be doing that to a brother.

[peers at Karkat a little confusedly] Uhh...don't taste that bad to me, bro, and you look fine.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yes, they would. There are so many people here who will fucking kill you if they have the chance, I can't even believe you don't realize that.

[Rubbing his temple; he's having trouble focusing and he's feeling a little panicked, but he's otherwise fine and in possession of his faculties.]

Objectively I'm sure I'm fine, but I'm not happy about the fact that the normal human food I was assured was all the pie I ate contained is having effects beyond the scope of what was promised. I am not at all happy about that.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, I can't be kicking any wicked friendships up if I don't trust that the motherfucker won't be killing me, though. Everyone I've met's been real motherfuckin' chill anyway.

Shit, soooooorry. [n-noooo his plan backfired...] What kind of effects? I ain't feeling weird or nothing, and I've hit the pie too.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

It's either a different physiology thing or your pan is just already so addled that you can't tell.

I'm going to go sit down for a little while. It will probably wear off.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

You think starmonkey pies are all what poisonous for us trolls?

All right, if you think that's best. You really ain't acting any different, though.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I don't know.

[Grabbing a seat on the couch and leaning back on the cushion; his limbs are feeling a little heavy.]

My money is on you being too stupid to notice. It's just hard to say. And to answer your question I don't feel like I'm acting different, just that I feel kind of shitty.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[takes a seat next to him]

Fuck, how so? I didn't mean to what all make you sick or nothing, sooooorry.