fOuR | aCtIoN

[miraculls]

[Action; inside 1338 Benny]

[Some people deal with teenage drama and fights with their best friends by drowning their sorrows in ice cream and shitty movies. Gamzee, on the other hand, drowns his sorrows in pies. Unfortunately, the human pies don't work half as well as his sopor ones do when it comes to making him feel better, plus his stomach starts hurting after he downs a whole tin for some reason. This hasn't stopped him from baking dozens and dozens of them, though.

Anyone who comes into the kitchen of 1338 Benny will find Gamzee covered head to toe in flour, as well as what looks to be a minor explosion of various ingredients all over the countertops, including several that have no business being anywhere near a pie. The table, meanwhile, is stacked with piping hot pies. If this were one of Karkat's paleromcoms, this would be the incredibly pathetic scene where Gamzee starts wailing the lyrics to "All By Myself (Don't Wanna Be Culled Anymore)" at the top of his lungs.]

[Action; outside 1338 Benny]

[Having been scolded by both drone parents because 'boys shouldn't be doing girly activities like baking', Gamzee has relocated his table of pies outdoors and is currently munching on a slice. Taped across the table is a large sign that reads:



Gamzee looks kind of lonely, come share a slice with him? There's three different types of pies to choose from:

1) Regular pies: through the power of miracles, Gamzee has actually managed to bake pies that most people would be familiar with, like apple and banana cream and cherry.

2) Stoner pies: the ingredients in these are kind of weird! You might get a strange but nonetheless delicious one, like peanut butter chocolate potato chips pie, or a pie filled with ice cream and soda. On the other hand, you might also get one with hamburger meat and strawberry syrup.

3) Pot pies: they look like normal pies, but Gamzee's added a special ingredient that the greasers at the high school said would make miracles happen. He's not sure how a bag full of what looks like grass is supposed to accomplish this, but humans can be pretty weird sometimes! Don't worry, there isn't enough pot in these pies to get anyone sick, just high.]

Comments

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Soooooorry. [sucks on the burn for a second instead of doing anything smart like running it under cold water]

Are you...are you staying?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I came back to get something I forgot.

[running the cold water for him.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[crushing disappointment

no, it's okay, he's used to this....]

Really? What'd you up and forget? Maybe I can help you look for it.

[also gosh Karkat why are you running that water if you're not going to wash your hands or anything...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Fine, grabbing his hand roughly and shoving it into the water.]

It's not important. Just one of my movies.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, if you came back for it, it's gotta be motherfuckin' important to you. Which one?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I'll find it myself.

[He's not trying to brush Gamzee off; he's just now positive that the movie is with all of his other movies at Tavros' and he feels like an asshole for coming back on such a flimsy pretense.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Okay, if that's what you want.

[noooooooo how can he make Karkat stay a little longer...]

...want a pie?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Why would I ever want one of your disgusting pies?

[He's not trying to make an exit or anything though.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, I think they what all be tasting pretty damn good. You can't know until you try one. [big hopeful eyes]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Ugh.

They're just fucking normal pies made out of human ingredients, right? Ones that were meant to be eaten?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I ain't got none of my motherfuckin' sneeze back yet, so it's all starmonkey shit inside. I found them all in the thermal hull and grossers, so I think they gotta be starmonkey grubchow?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Fine, I'll have some of one of your terrible pies if it will make you shut up about it.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[oh gosh Karkat is actually going to eat one of his pies this is the best day ever Gamzee just looks ridiculously happy and excited over here]

That's what I motherfuckin' like to hear! Help yourself, best friend, I got plenty to share.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Looking at them...skeptically...]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[stares at him expectantly

can you feel the hope radiating off him Karkat can you]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[pointing to one.]

Okay, what is in that?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Uhhhh...shit, I forgot, soooooorry. [come on man, that was like ten pies ago, do you really expect him to remember

also, whatever pie Karkat picks will wind up being cherry just for the sheer irony factor]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Ugh.

[...Poking it with a fork. Oh. Cherry.

Well, that's probably okay.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[watching with big eyes

whether you want it to be also one of Gamzee's pot pies is up to you]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[Haha, sure. He won't eat enough for it to be a big deal, anyway.

He'll cut himself a small piece and eat it. It tastes kind of strange and there's something in there that definitely does not belong in a pie, but he'll eat it.]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[miracles

Gamzee just looks pathetically happy here, he's never managed to convince Karkat to try one of his pies before]

You like it?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure, fine.

Don't think it means I'll ever eat that shit you make with sopor slime.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

That's cool, the miraculous sneeze ain't for everyone anyway. I don't know if I'll ever be finding any of it around here though, but the starmonkey pies aren't bad.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

There is a way to get some, but you can't eat it if you're human. It won't affect you the same way and it will probably just kill you.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Whoooooa, how'd you up and know all that? They been hiding the sopor from me, bro?