TwO | action

[miraculls]

[ACTION; morning all around Mayfield]

[Sadly, Gamzee has not yet acquired his trademark face-paint, as the stores refuse to sell make-up to a boy and he's too stupid to lie about it being for his girlfriend. Kanaya had offered to buy it for him, but then she got panscrubbed and now she just giggles at him and tells him to stop joking when he tries to bring it up. BUT GAMZEE IS A DETERMINATOR. HE IS MAKING THIS HAPPEN.

So it's back to plan A. After extensively studying the fashion sense and styles of the pink starmonkeys (aka staring at them in slack-jawed wonder), Gamzee has managed to come to the conclusion that the females wear really long shirts and no pants. He's stolen borrowed some clothes from his drone mom, but didn't bother with her make-up since that's motherfuckin' blasphemy.

In short, there is now a gangly thirteen year old boy wobbling around town in high-heels and a dress that's too big for him, and occasionally tripping on the hems or the shoes and falling flat onto his face. Also, he's gotten himself lost.]

[ACTION; later that afternoon]

[SUCCESS. Having somehow acquired the necessary make-up, Gamzee's wearing his clown facepaint at last...and also still in the dress, since it hasn't occurred to him yet that he might want to take it off. He can now be found all over Mayfield, staring in hypnotized wonder at the glory that is his miracle modus.

Sorry, were you holding something? Gamzee's just going to absently try to snag it and make it disappear into a beautiful swirl of seizure-inducing rainbow cards.

Also, for anyone at 1338 Benny, most of your items have probably mysteriously vanished.]

Comments

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[does such a movie even actually exist]

Uh, which one is that? I ain't big on punching anyone, he be cool by me.

you asshole cappy

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Ugh, you know the one! I know I've shown it to you before. It's called 'In Which A Man Has A Chance Encounter With An Attractive Woman And Develops Flushed Inclinations Very Quickly; He Discovers That Due to a Tragic FLARPing Incident, She Suffers From A Thinkpan Injury That Causes Her To Lose All Recollection Of Her Life After The Point Of Receiving It Upon Each Evening; He Attempts to Court Her Concupiscent Affections Each Evening, But a Series of Mishaps Results In Frequent Flipping to Relations of the Caliginous Type; 3 Additional Characters Provide Comedic Relief; 6 Onscreen Kisses Are Shared; 1 Tasteful Implied Pail Filling; 2-4 Lines That Could Be Construed As Humorous; 27 Incidents Involving Bodily Fluids; 1 Montage Set to Music to Summarize Tedious Events; And An Ending Implying A Satisfying Resolution For All.'

It has Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore?

HAHAHAHA SO BEAUTIFUL

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, that one!

...nah, bro, don't got a panclue which one you be talking about. But hang on, let me shoot the mirthful messiahs a pester and we'll see if they'll all up and shine a miracle down on where your movie's at.

[claps his hands and closes his eyes in prayer! as he does so, his miracle modus happens to pop up.

...wow, there sure are a lot of karkat's movies jumping around in that crazy mess. also furniture. and what appears to be a couple of dogs.]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

...

Gamzee! What the fuck! This must be a fucking miraculous vision, because it looks like my movies are floating around in your Stupid Bullshit Coincidences For Assholes modus?

Get them out!

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Whoooooa, how the motherfuck did that happen? The messiahs must have answered my message, bro. See, you just gotta have a little motherfuckin' faith sometimes.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Gamzee! Get them out! Tell me you can make your Rainbow Patterns for Retards modus spit them out!

[Complete flip out in 3...2...]

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Course I can, best friend, just gotta get my wicked prayer on again.

[closes his eyes and prays really hard!!

hope you like getting hit in the face by a speeding pie, karkat]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[1...Just letting the pie drip down his face in favor of flipping his shit.]

Aargh! What in the name of douchebag hell did I do to deserve this? You're the one who calls attention to the shit stains on God's underwear and I'm the one saddled with a fucking useless asshole like you! Or maybe I'm your punishment, who the fuck knows, it's a double mutual punishment reach around! Maybe I'm being punished for being the kind of complete asshole who's friends with a complete asshole like all of my friends are?

All I want. Is to watch. Fucking Drew Barrymore being charming and quirkily adorable and slowly falling for Adam Sandler despite him being obviously the second most terrible person to ever exist and despite her horrible mental condition. It's fucking touching and romantic and perfect and a flawless lesson about how we all should be trying to convince the people we care about to continue putting up with us day after day instead of giving up and just accepting being jerks all the time and I want to watch it right now! Please pray to the fucking clown douchebags above and ask them why it is such a crime to want to watch a goddamn beautiful movie?

Maybe they'll answer your fucking prayer, but more likely they won't because everything in the universe hates me too much to allow me this one, simple, small pleasure!

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

[slowly swipes a finger in this pie on karkat's face

licks

it

off]

Sure thing, bro, but I dunno if they done ever saw the movie. Ain't no clowns in it or shit.

1/2

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

You fucking idiot, I'm insulting you and generally acting like a giant douchebag, you could at least try to act like it!

What's wrong, are you too fucking stupid to yell at? Are you even capable of getting angry, or is your thinkpan too--

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[It sometimes takes a minute when Karkat's yelling for his words to catch up to him, but as soon as they do, his shoulders slump and he stops looking quite so angry. He just looks like a pathetic asshole with pie on his face.]

Oh...oh, fuck. Shit.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Uh...you okay, bro? [squints at his modus, then reaches for 50 First Dates and pulls it out] Didn't mean to get you all upset and shit, soooooory. And I ain't real good at that roleplaying shit, but I can up all and try to front the nasty shit if you want, I got a ton of practice with Equius.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

[...Takes his movie]

It's fine. I'm just an asshole who doesn't ever think about anything and instead just freaks out about stupid shit.

I really, really don't want to see that, okay?

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

It be all good, best friend, I don't got nothing going on in my thinkpan either sometimes.

Haha, sure, but I ain't sure I'm that motherfuckin' bad at it. But I don't really like pretending to get all my rage on, it feels so motherfuckin' unnatural, you know?

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't know.

It's probably nice to be the kind of douchebag who isn't combusting from constant chronic rage attacks. And you should probably stay that way. Fuck. I'm always going 'hey, Karkat, you sack of congealed shitloaf, don't be an asshole right now, remember how things are complicated and you have so many regrets about certain people so don't say anything you don't mean when you know how it really is, how about that?' But then I'm like, 'Who told you you could tell me what to do, fuckass? I'll make an embarrassing spectacle of myself and then feel like shit about it afterward if I want to. Also, fuck you.'

It's probably better to not be like that guy in any way.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Aww, bro, there ain't nothin' wrong with going with what your heart all up and motherfuckin' tells you to be. If that be the way the mirthful messiahs made you, then shit, you gotta own that motherfuckin' gift they done sent down. Ain't no point all up and wishing you be a different motherfucker.

[yes karkat take advice from the crossdressing clown...]

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Yeah, holy shit, I see the light now, I'm a miraculous creation, okay, what the fuck ever.

I'm trying to say something else. Like, I don't know, if someone's heart started giving them conflicting messages like insane murderous urges, they should probably not assume that's a gift from the mirthful messiahs and instead just ignore that. That is sane rational advice that can in no way change anything that will happen in the future so why would I bother, right?

...I guess what I'm trying to say is, ignore me when I'm being an asshole like you always do.

[miraculls.livejournal.com]

Naaaaw, bro, the mirthful messiahs wouldn't all up and front motherfuckin' nasty shit like that. And we be chill, best friend, I know you ain't really meaning all the wicked jokes spouting out your talkflap.

[crusthatecean.livejournal.com]

Okay.

Well...it is well past time for me to be in the warm cinematic embrace of Drew Barrymore's masterful performance, so...I guess I'll just leave you to your Seizure Inducing Lights to Entertain Wigglers modus.