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TwO | action
[ACTION; morning all around Mayfield]
[Sadly, Gamzee has not yet acquired his trademark face-paint, as the stores refuse to sell make-up to a boy and he's too stupid to lie about it being for his girlfriend. Kanaya had offered to buy it for him, but then she got panscrubbed and now she just giggles at him and tells him to stop joking when he tries to bring it up. BUT GAMZEE IS A DETERMINATOR. HE IS MAKING THIS HAPPEN.
So it's back to plan A. After extensively studying the fashion sense and styles of the pink starmonkeys (aka staring at them in slack-jawed wonder), Gamzee has managed to come to the conclusion that the females wear really long shirts and no pants. He'sstolen borrowed some clothes from his drone mom, but didn't bother with her make-up since that's motherfuckin' blasphemy.
In short, there is now a gangly thirteen year old boy wobbling around town in high-heels and a dress that's too big for him, and occasionally tripping on the hems or the shoes and falling flat onto his face. Also, he's gotten himself lost.]
[ACTION; later that afternoon]
[SUCCESS. Having somehow acquired the necessary make-up, Gamzee's wearing his clown facepaint at last...and also still in the dress, since it hasn't occurred to him yet that he might want to take it off. He can now be found all over Mayfield, staring in hypnotized wonder at the glory that is his miracle modus.
Sorry, were you holding something? Gamzee's just going to absently try to snag it and make it disappear into a beautiful swirl of seizure-inducing rainbow cards.
Also, for anyone at 1338 Benny, most of your items have probably mysteriously vanished.]
[Sadly, Gamzee has not yet acquired his trademark face-paint, as the stores refuse to sell make-up to a boy and he's too stupid to lie about it being for his girlfriend. Kanaya had offered to buy it for him, but then she got panscrubbed and now she just giggles at him and tells him to stop joking when he tries to bring it up. BUT GAMZEE IS A DETERMINATOR. HE IS MAKING THIS HAPPEN.
So it's back to plan A. After extensively studying the fashion sense and styles of the pink starmonkeys (aka staring at them in slack-jawed wonder), Gamzee has managed to come to the conclusion that the females wear really long shirts and no pants. He's
In short, there is now a gangly thirteen year old boy wobbling around town in high-heels and a dress that's too big for him, and occasionally tripping on the hems or the shoes and falling flat onto his face. Also, he's gotten himself lost.]
[ACTION; later that afternoon]
[SUCCESS. Having somehow acquired the necessary make-up, Gamzee's wearing his clown facepaint at last...and also still in the dress, since it hasn't occurred to him yet that he might want to take it off. He can now be found all over Mayfield, staring in hypnotized wonder at the glory that is his miracle modus.
Sorry, were you holding something? Gamzee's just going to absently try to snag it and make it disappear into a beautiful swirl of seizure-inducing rainbow cards.
Also, for anyone at 1338 Benny, most of your items have probably mysteriously vanished.]
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[closes his eyes and prays really hard!!
hope you like getting hit in the face by a speeding pie, karkat]
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Aargh! What in the name of douchebag hell did I do to deserve this? You're the one who calls attention to the shit stains on God's underwear and I'm the one saddled with a fucking useless asshole like you! Or maybe I'm your punishment, who the fuck knows, it's a double mutual punishment reach around! Maybe I'm being punished for being the kind of complete asshole who's friends with a complete asshole like all of my friends are?
All I want. Is to watch. Fucking Drew Barrymore being charming and quirkily adorable and slowly falling for Adam Sandler despite him being obviously the second most terrible person to ever exist and despite her horrible mental condition. It's fucking touching and romantic and perfect and a flawless lesson about how we all should be trying to convince the people we care about to continue putting up with us day after day instead of giving up and just accepting being jerks all the time and I want to watch it right now! Please pray to the fucking clown douchebags above and ask them why it is such a crime to want to watch a goddamn beautiful movie?
Maybe they'll answer your fucking prayer, but more likely they won't because everything in the universe hates me too much to allow me this one, simple, small pleasure!
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licks
it
off]
Sure thing, bro, but I dunno if they done ever saw the movie. Ain't no clowns in it or shit.
1/2
What's wrong, are you too fucking stupid to yell at? Are you even capable of getting angry, or is your thinkpan too--
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Oh...oh, fuck. Shit.
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It's fine. I'm just an asshole who doesn't ever think about anything and instead just freaks out about stupid shit.
I really, really don't want to see that, okay?
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Haha, sure, but I ain't sure I'm that motherfuckin' bad at it. But I don't really like pretending to get all my rage on, it feels so motherfuckin' unnatural, you know?
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It's probably nice to be the kind of douchebag who isn't combusting from constant chronic rage attacks. And you should probably stay that way. Fuck. I'm always going 'hey, Karkat, you sack of congealed shitloaf, don't be an asshole right now, remember how things are complicated and you have so many regrets about certain people so don't say anything you don't mean when you know how it really is, how about that?' But then I'm like, 'Who told you you could tell me what to do, fuckass? I'll make an embarrassing spectacle of myself and then feel like shit about it afterward if I want to. Also, fuck you.'
It's probably better to not be like that guy in any way.
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[yes karkat take advice from the crossdressing clown...]
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I'm trying to say something else. Like, I don't know, if someone's heart started giving them conflicting messages like insane murderous urges, they should probably not assume that's a gift from the mirthful messiahs and instead just ignore that. That is sane rational advice that can in no way change anything that will happen in the future so why would I bother, right?
...I guess what I'm trying to say is, ignore me when I'm being an asshole like you always do.
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Well...it is well past time for me to be in the warm cinematic embrace of Drew Barrymore's masterful performance, so...I guess I'll just leave you to your Seizure Inducing Lights to Entertain Wigglers modus.