[1...Just letting the pie drip down his face in favor of flipping his shit.]
Aargh! What in the name of douchebag hell did I do to deserve this? You're the one who calls attention to the shit stains on God's underwear and I'm the one saddled with a fucking useless asshole like you! Or maybe I'm your punishment, who the fuck knows, it's a double mutual punishment reach around! Maybe I'm being punished for being the kind of complete asshole who's friends with a complete asshole like all of my friends are?
All I want. Is to watch. Fucking Drew Barrymore being charming and quirkily adorable and slowly falling for Adam Sandler despite him being obviously the second most terrible person to ever exist and despite her horrible mental condition. It's fucking touching and romantic and perfect and a flawless lesson about how we all should be trying to convince the people we care about to continue putting up with us day after day instead of giving up and just accepting being jerks all the time and I want to watch it right now! Please pray to the fucking clown douchebags above and ask them why it is such a crime to want to watch a goddamn beautiful movie?
Maybe they'll answer your fucking prayer, but more likely they won't because everything in the universe hates me too much to allow me this one, simple, small pleasure!
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Aargh! What in the name of douchebag hell did I do to deserve this? You're the one who calls attention to the shit stains on God's underwear and I'm the one saddled with a fucking useless asshole like you! Or maybe I'm your punishment, who the fuck knows, it's a double mutual punishment reach around! Maybe I'm being punished for being the kind of complete asshole who's friends with a complete asshole like all of my friends are?
All I want. Is to watch. Fucking Drew Barrymore being charming and quirkily adorable and slowly falling for Adam Sandler despite him being obviously the second most terrible person to ever exist and despite her horrible mental condition. It's fucking touching and romantic and perfect and a flawless lesson about how we all should be trying to convince the people we care about to continue putting up with us day after day instead of giving up and just accepting being jerks all the time and I want to watch it right now! Please pray to the fucking clown douchebags above and ask them why it is such a crime to want to watch a goddamn beautiful movie?
Maybe they'll answer your fucking prayer, but more likely they won't because everything in the universe hates me too much to allow me this one, simple, small pleasure!